Shark Attack Triathlon

What an amazing morning.

About a month ago, I caught wind of a "kid" triathlon out near Herriman.  I told the kids about it and they imediately wanted in.  The girls had been very envious of Ethan doing the novice one last month.  The age cut off for this one was to be seven  years old by December 31 of this year.  Lauren turns seven in September, so she made it!   My concern was that they would be off doing the race on their own.  I wasn't worried about Ethan, but it made me very nervous to send the girls off because they are busy streets that they race down.  The race os lined with police officers and volunteers, but it is still open to traffic and some drivers are just plain stupid.  I emailed the race director and asked if I would be able to bike and run with them, and she assured me that was okay.

I callled Courtnee to ask if her boys would be interested in doing the tri, and Carson was.  Our kids were so happy to have their cousin race with them!

This morning was a very early one for me, which was hard because last night was a late one for me.  Lots to do to get ready for these things and I am always up past midnight.  As I type this, I am about to fall asleep.

We got the kids checked in and body marked, then we headed over to the pool to let them warm up.  The adult sprint tri was ending, with the last racers coming through the finish line.  The water wasn't too cold for being in the morning of early June.  They lined up and listened to the directions from the officiator, then it was time to hit the water! 

Ethan's start

Carson's start

Hailey's start

Lauren's start

Hailey and Carson

Ethan

Lauren had a rough time in the water.  Although she is a very good and strong swimmer, nerves got the best of her and she "choked" right before her start.  It set of a chain reaction that she had a hard time over coming while swimming.  She panicked a couple of times and ended up in dead last.  But that was okay...she just needed to finish!!

When she touched the side, all of the officiators went nuts cheering.  Those 100 meters almost did her in!  But she busted out of that water and she and I hit the transition station at full speed.  Bike time!!  Ethan and Carson were already out of transition when we got there, and Hailey was getting her shoes on.  The three of us headed out to the road together.  Lauren was so happy to be done with the swim because she said "that was the hardest thing she had ever done."  Quite a feat for a tiny six year old!!  Because we were last, the Sweeper followed us out on the course.  The Sweeper is a volunteer who brings up the rear and signals to the officiators that the last racer has come out.  His name was Gene and he was such a nice old guy.  He would turn out to be very useful for me, because not even half a mile into the bike, this women officiator with a serious ax to grind started yelling at me that I couldn't be on the bike course with my child.  She was stark raving mad!  I was very confused because I had been told BY THE DIRECTOR that it was okay.  I had been told that weeks before!  But this woman would NOT bend and she made me go back.  Gene kept following Lauren and Hailey and I watched them until they were out of sight.  My heart was scared.  Lauren had no idea I had been turned away and I feared that when she realized I was gone, she would freak out.

When I got back near transition, Cody was waiting with the little boys and the cameras and I was almost in tears as I told him about the crazy Nazi officiator.  I went and put my bike and helmet back at camp, and then we waited there for our kids to come down the bike course.  Carson and Ethan came through very quickly, then Hailey a little while later.  It was Lauren that I was very worried about.  She was so tired and already emotional when she got done with the swim.

We waited.  And Waited.  And waited.  Still no Lauren, no Gene.  My heart was pounding and I was scared.  What if something had happened to her?  What if she fell off her bike?  Minuted had passed since the last biker came through, and there was no sign of Lauren.  I said "screw it" and I got my bike back out of transition and headed back out on the course.  Finally I spotted Lauren's bright pink shirt, and Gene's blue shirt close behind her.  "She has a flat tire!!"  Gene yelled.  Lauren had tears running down her face, but she was pedaling hard and focusing on the task at hand.  "Her tire popped two miles ago!"  He told me.  

Moments later I heard police sirens and looked behind and saw six police cars following us.  They were giving Lauren an escort!  I asked her if she wanted to get off her bike so we could walk out bikes the rest of the way.  "No way!"  She said as she cried.  "I am finishing it on my bike!"  Her poor back tire was completely flat.  No air in it at all.  Her little legs pushed and pushed and she was shaking.  She had ridden like that for two miles!

We got back to camp and I quickly hung our bikes on the rack and we started running to the race course.  Lauren was shaking so much that she stumbled and almost collapsed.  I picked her up and put her on my back and ran through transition with her like that as tears fell down her face.  The cheers from everyone around us was unreal.  Everyone heard that her tired had popped.  People had been wondering where the little tiny girl in the pink was, and here she was on her mama's back.  I ran with her on my back for about 1/8 a mile, then she said she needed to run on her own.  She ran, and walked, and ran, and walked.  She was so incredibly tired and weak.  When we hit the halfway point, we came to a water station and the officiator asked if she was the last one.  I apologized that we were so late, but I explained about the bike.  He was blown away that she had ridden on a flat tire for two miles.  He said "That is every triathlete's worst nightmare!  That, and getting hit by a car."  He went on to tell Lauren how amazing and inspirational she was. 

"Mom, I want to run the whole way to the finish line."  I think her adrenaline took over and she picked up the pace.  "Do you think anyone is still there, or do you think they all went home?"  I told her I didn't know, but we knew that our family would be there.

As we got closer to the finish line, we could again hear the music booming from the speakers and we could hear the MC talking into the microphone.  We rounded the last corner and I guess everyone spotted her pink shirt and the crowd went CRAZY.  I cried, and she just smiled.  So so so many people, adults from the sprint even, were hanging around just to see her finish.  "This is the absolute best part of the entire race!!"  The MC said into the mic.  She said I got the mom of the year award, but I don't know about that.  I was just so happy for Lauren, and for the other kids, that I didn't care about anything else. 

It was an unbelievable day.  I had to get a picture of Lauren with Gene, her savior on the bike course.  Lauren said he was like her guardian angel.  Oh man, I am crying again!  I love these events more than I can say and I am so proud and happy for these kids of mine.  We went to IHOP after we finally got everything loaded up, and I asked each of the kids what the hardest part of the race was.  Ethan, Hailey, and Carson said the swim was the hardest.  Lauren said she wanted to tell us what the best part was instead.  She said the best part was coming through the finish line and seeing the hundreds of people waiting there for her, all cheering and calling her name. 

Ethan's First Triathlon

In between my triathlon in August and my foot surgery in September, I KNEW I wanted to compete in the South Davis Tri in May.  That gave me eight months to fully recover, rebuild flexibility and strength in the foot (and atrophied leg muscles as a result of being rather stationary) and train.  I knew it would be tough coming back from that, but I made it a goal.

My foot healed and I got back to running.  Then swimming, then cycling, and by February I was feeling pretty good about things.  However, I didn't want to do this race alone, because there is something to be said for having a partner with you through the entire race.  Not just at the start line and the finish line, but someone running along side of you, suffering with you, and enduring it.  But as much as I pestered practically everyone I knew, no one wanted to do the race.  I can't say I blame them because it's kind of scary and it's a huge commitment.

One day in early March, I had an idea.  What if I could get Ethan to do the race with me?  Yes, my barely ten year old son.  What if?  So I talked to him about it, and it scared him to death.  And then I remembered that this particular race had a novice level, so I suggested that and he said "Hmmm, I'll think about it."

I pestered him for the better part of a month.  One evening I even bribed him with a DQ Blizzard to just drive around the course with me.  He agreed, and when he saw how "easy" the novive course was, he agreed to start running with me.  So we started running together, and I was blown away by that kid's drive.  We went out one day in April and bought him a very good pair of running shoes, and after that he started begging me every night to take him running.  The rest is history!

Shortly after I told her Ethan was doing the tri and that we were doing the novice level, my good friend Audrey said that she and Samuel (her ten year old and Ethan's good friend) would like to do it too!  I was super excited, to say the least!  Audrey felt pretty intimidated by it, but I kept assuring her that it would be SO AWESOME and that she would have a great time!

My real fear was the weather, because May in Utah is very unpredictable.  One day it will be 80 degrees and sunny, and by that weekend it will be in the 40s and raining or even snowing.  Unfortunately, the forecast for this particular Saturday showed the latter.  No biggie, we would make it through!!  On Friday night our families gathered at Audrey's for a carb loading party, which is kind of the best part of any race!  Takes me back to my swim team days!

5:15 came mighty early the next day, after being up til almost midnight getting everything ready for TWO racers, plus everything set to go for a day of soccer games.  Oh yeah, soccer life didn't stop just because we were doing a triathlon that morning!  Saturday May 10th took a lot of coordination, from getting bikes to the venue, to getting everyone to games on time later that day.  We all met up at the Rec Center and Audrey was pretty nervous, but I kept telling her not to be.  It was going to be incredible, and such a cool thing to share with our boys!  We got all checked in, got numbered up, got our camp set up at transition, found Jay (who was also doing the race) and then headed into the Nadatorium to wait and wait and wait for the waves of swimmers to go.  Because we were doing the novice, we had to wait for everyone else to go first.  The waves took an hour and fifteen minutes.  The longer we sat in the bleachers, the more butterflies grew in our tummies. 

The race was completely amazing, albeit pretty darn cold.  It was super windy when we ran out of the Nadatorium to transition, but adrenaline carried us through so it didn't feel "quite" as cold.  We got rained on quite a bit during the bike.  That leg made me very nervous because I rode ahead of Ethan and had to trust him to not get hurt and to look out for cars.  Even though police and volunteers try to keep you safe, you still have to be on constant alert. 

We saw Enos on the bike leg taking pictures, and then we saw Cody on the running leg taking pictures.  I'll tell you what, even though it was by no means a difficult race for me and even though I was a little disappointed that I wasn't doing the difficult level that I had originally set out to do, there is nothing better than crossing the finish line holding the hand of your son.  It.  Was.  Thrilling.  I brought that boy into this world, and he did a triathlon with me as my equal.  When it was all over (or maybe it was the next day after he wasn't so tired from doing a triathlon in the morning and then playing soccer that afternoon) he said that he couldn't wait to do another triathlon.  I am so excited to take him down this road.  He wore his tri shirt to school that Monday and got to tell his class about the race.  Not many people can say they did their first triathlon when they were only ten years old.

Ethan, Hailey, and Lauren are doing a kid triathlon next month on June 7th.  I can definitely see this becoming a family activity for the long run!  Who knows-  Maybe I'll do the IronMan with my kids one day. 

The Lake

I hate Sundays.

I hate the days leading up to Sundays, because Sundays are full of triggers for me and most weeks it's all I can do to sit in church and not let my head explode.  Or implode.  This morning as I was getting dressed for church, I felt the walls caving in and I thought I was losing my mind.  I yelled and cried as I made the bed.  I have issues; a lot of issues surrounding God and today many things surmounted and I found myself crying on the bed in the fetal position.  An hour later we were all in the van with lunches packed and we headed north.  100 miles later we were in Bear Lake.  I haven't been to Bear Lake since Ethan was in my belly eleven years ago.  I don't know why Cody chose Bear Lake, but that's where we went.  Poor Cody was my figurative vomit bucket as I spewed all kinds of verbal venom at him on the drive up.  I won't go into details of what compiled to cause my spiritual breakdown today, but it was ugly.

The weather was cold and super windy.  The air temp was in the mid-sixties, but the wind made it feel like forty degrees.  I really, really detest wind.  It's amazing how kids are impervious to extreme weather, though. 

We ended up eating in the car at the park because I was freezing.  We had forgotten the little boys' jackets- win for Mom and Dad.  The kids got out to play on the playground toys, then we headed down the boardwalk to the beach and not a soul was in sight.  It was cold, but it was beautiful.  The kids played with the sand toys for a long time and it's amazing how sticks and rocks and broken shells brought them so much joy.  I strolled along and took pictures while my mind wandered.

Tonight I made a 94% on an exam and a 100% on a quiz.  Things feel a little better, but I dread next Sunday all over again.  Maybe we'll end up hiking in the mountains somewhere- who knows.

34 Facts About Veronica

I turned 34 years old today at 9:14 p.m.  In the spirit of things, I figure I should do a little documenting about myself.  I spend so much of my time chronicling and documenting the lives of other people, but I need to sit down and do it about myself once in a while.

1. I am much more confidant in myself in my mid-thirties than I was this time ten years ago.

2. I detest the misuse of apostrophes and reflexive pronouns.

3. I am the middle child of seven kids.  I have two older brothers, one older sister, two younger brothers, and one younger sister.  I get a little lost in the mix.

4. I always always wanted to be a teacher from the time I was little.  Now I realize it is not the path for me and it makes me a little sad.

5.  I don't open up to people easily.  I love to listen to people.  I love to hear their stories and learn what makes them tick.  I love helping people with their problems, but I am not one to divulge my problems or my story to many people. 

6. I met my best friend in kindergarten and she remained my best friend all through high school.  She is still a very important part of my life, even though we see each other once in a blue moon.

7. I absolutely love hidden camera shows, namely practical joke shows.

8. My husband is my best friend.

9. I always wanted six kids- three boys and three girls.  When I got married I said I wanted two boys and two girls.  We ended up with three boys and two girls and we're right where we were meant to be.

10.  I would have another baby in a heartbeat if it was meant to happen, but it's not.

11.  I have a freakishly strong abdomen.  You would never know it by looking at me, but those muscles are crazy strong on the inside.  I can stand on my head for a super long time and grown men can stand on my core while I lay on the ground and I can hold them there.  It's very weird.

12.  My first car was a 1986 Nissan 200SX.  I paid $3,000 for it and put $5,000 into it before I'd had it for five years.  I made several round trips between Texas and Utah in it.  The FM radio quit working right after I got it, it didn't have a cassette player (and definitely didn't have a CD player) so I listened to a lot of AM talk radio. 

13.  I struggle with the concept of organized religion and have most of my adult life.

14.  I love working my body to brink of exhaustion, whether it's doing yard work all day or doing a triathlon.  My body is an amazing machine and I appreciate it more and more the older I get.  I take far better care of it in my 30s than I did in my teens (that's probably true for most people).

15.  I fought a prescription drug addiction for the better part of three years and I know firsthand the nightmare of detoxing. 

16.  My stomach is covered in stretch marks.  I try to look at them as battle scars to be proud of, but  don't.  I think they are ugly, although I do appreciate what they symbolize.

17.  I can quote "The Labyrinth" by heart, almost word for word.  The entire movie.  I still have a huge crush on David Bowie, just as I did when I was a kid.

18.  I am beyond terrified of plumbing in swimming pools.  It's a very irrational fear and I can't explain it.  Pool drains scare the ever living $h#@ out of me.  This is strange because I have spent my whole life in swimming pools.

19.  I hate milk.  The only way I drink it is on cereal, and it must be SKIM milk, partially watered down.

20.  I don't have a large number of close friends.  I have a very small number of close friends, and it normally takes me a while to get to the point of "good friend" with a person.  I am fiercely loyal to my close friends.  Fiercely.

21. I love making homemade ice cream.

22.  I miss spring time in Texas so much it hurts every year when I know it's wildflower season.

23.  I miss almost everything about Texas, almost all of the time.  It doesn't mean I don't appreciate the place where  live now, but a huge part of my soul is Texas and that will never change. 

24.  I am not a very good cook.  There are a few dishes that I make very well, but overall, it is not my strong area.

25.  I have an almost debilitating fear of my children getting severely injured or deathly ill....and dying.  Probably because I have witnessed that pain firsthand more than a person should.  I actually see a therapist on a weekly basis to help me with this particular problem. 

26.  Exercising outdoors is a huge stress relief for me.  There is nothing more calming that running or biking into a sunset.

27.  I sometimes wish I had gone to school to be an engineer.  I come from a line of engineering minds and I think I got that gene.

28.  My happy place is my garage when I am tinkering, building, and using power tools.  The smell of sawdust is euphoric to me.

29.  The smell of citronella on a summer night is euphoric to me.

30.  I have never ever squatted to pee.  I have never ever peed in/on anything that was not a toilet, a latrine, or a port-a-potty.

31.  I had my last baby exactly 6 weeks before I turned 31 years old.

32.  I play the piano when I am hurting inside.

33.  I never learned the correct way to type, although I can type fairly fast.  However, I kick myself for hating my fourth grade teacher enough to NOT learn to keyboard from her.

34.  I will never ever ever be too old to not need my parents.  I love my parents and my siblings more as I get older.  Maybe it's because life seems to be speeding up and I realize that time is fleeting.  I cherish my family more than anything else in the world. 

Garrett Turns 3

 Has it really been three years since we had a newborn baby in our family?!  Garrett had his golden birthday on April 3rd.  He turned THREE on the THIRD!  Pretty cool to have your golden birthday so early in life.  We decided to keep things simple this year rather than have the traditional first friend party that they normally get when they turn three.  Our family is now big enough that we really don't have to invite extra people over to celebrate!

Granana and Gov flew in the night before.  By the next morning, both of them were feeling kind of crummy.  Granana laid down in the morning because she felt bad.  Gov had been feeling queasy all day.  He and I ran some errands after lunch and when we got back, he said he thought he was coming down with something.  As I was starting to prepare bugers for dinner, both of them became violently ill.  Just as they quarintined themselves to the basement, Grandma and Grandpa showed up for dinner and birthday stuff.  It was really bad timing!  Whatever plagued Granana and Gov seemed ot leave as quickly as it came on.  After several hours in the basement bedroom, they emerged back into life upstairs.  They both concluded that it had been bad airport food that had given them food poisoning! 

We grilled burgers and hotdogs for dinner (two of Garrett's favorite foods).  Since Garrett is obsessed with all thing Thomas the Tank Engine, everything was geared toward that theme.  As always, we got his cake from Dick's Market which really has the best cakes around.  He got spoiled with all kinds of stuff from Mom and Dad and his siblings.  Since we had already ordered a swing set in his honor, we got him a bunch of little knick knacks to open.  A whistle, a grabbing claw toy, several balls (including his first soccer ball) and Hailey got him a little slinky penguin toy.  Devin sulked the whole time because he wanted the presents for himself.  Sometimes it's tough having those boys so close in age.  He got some new books from Grandma and Grandpa, a new Thomas set from Granana and Gov, but his favorite gift of all was a bag of Rollo candies.  After he opened that, he started unwrapping and devouring them and didn't care much about anything else. 

Happy birthday G-Money!!!

Since then.

Photo taken from the boat as we sailed away from Belize.

 Life has been put into two categories as of late- life before Liam died, and life after Liam died.  I have said it a million times that he wasn't my baby.  No blood relation, unless lifelong friendship with his mother counts.  Because Carli has always been like a little sister to me and always will be.  I keep thinking of things like "Oh, that was days before Liam died..."  or "That happened two weeks after I got back from Houston..."

I really would like to move on from that.  So much of my life had been wrapped up in Liam stuff.  Moderating his Facebook page took a lot of time.  Keeping my phone nearby at all times waiting for updates from his mama, letting me know news so I could update other people.  Fundraising.  Being a shoulder.  Keeping spirits up.  And then in the blink of an eye, it was all over.  Filling that void has been very difficult.

It changed me.

I don't want to spend my days sub-conciously planning the funerals of my children.  I don't want to take a picture and hear the voice that says "This will be a great one for the slide show at the memorial."  I want to take a picture just to take a picture without the voice telling me my child is going to die.  I want to look at my children's toys laying out and not make a mental note of what I want displayed at the funeral.  "That is Devin's favorite train.  I want to display that."

Liam will forever be in my heart and not a day goes by that I don't think about his impact in my life.  I think of his family all the time.  I send his parents cards in the mail with ridiculous things written inside.  They will be okay.  I saw Carli and her girls in Houston last week before our plane took off after our cruise.  It was great to see her looking alive and healthy. When I left her in November she looked like she was the walking dead.  I hate more than anything that Liam is not here and everyone is left with a gaping hole in their hearts.  But I also believe that in time, hearts heal.  And Carli and Christian will eventually be okay.  We all will.  But I wonder how long it takes for the lump a throat to go away, because it's still there.  Heck, the lump never went away after Joseph died.  Maybe that is a permanent side effect of grief.  It's the dead's way of reminding us that they still linger.  

Since then, life has been okay.  And it will continue to be okay.

Since then, we have lived and done the normal things families do.  I will never go back and fully document our comings and goings since I got back from Houston in November, but here is a glimpse of what we have been up to:

-We went on our traditional stay-cation to the bed and breakfast downtown on December 11th.  We stayed two nights and it was magical.  

-I developed a horrible staph infection in my post-op foot and it explained the fevers I had been running for weeks.

-We enjoyed Lauren and Devin's school Christmas programs.

-Kids went off track from school on December 21st and didn't go back until January 20th.  It was one of the longest months of our lives.  Yay for going back to a traditional school schedule.  No more year round school!

-Had a good Christmas at home with just the seven of us. 

-We had a few families over for games and junk food on New Years Eve.  Lots of fun, but it made for some very tired and cranky kids the next day.

-I started back to college on January 6th.  Nine upper division hours, all online.  Our lives have been very disrupted by this, but everyone has been very supportive.  Cody helps me study and keeps kids out of my hair when I need a study break.  This is the beginning of a very long road for me.  Go UTES!!

 -I got my braces off on January 13th.  It hurt really bad because my teeth are so sensitive, but I am very happy with the results. 

-Hailey turned eight years old on January 19th.  She wore her red cowboy coots and white dress to church (the same one she wore for her photo shoot in November).  She loved the attention she got at church.  Denver beat New England that day in the playoffs, which sent Denver to the Superbowl.  It was a fantastic day.

-Hailey celebrated her birthday on Friday January 24th with a giant pajama, pizza making, face painting, karaoke party.  16 little girls were in attendance.  I don't even want to paint faces again!

-Our lives were over run with ballet rehearsals the third week of January.

-Granana and Gov flew in on January 30th, just in time for Hailey's ballet performance that night.  This year it was "Sleeping Beauty" and she was the gift of sapphire and gold.  Grandma and Grandpa met us there for the performance as well.  They stayed in town for all the weekend's festivities.

-The next night was Ethan's pool party up at the rec center.  The big 10!!  He had about 13 friends there and we had pizza and cake.  

-The next morning  Hailey was baptized.  Aunt Leighann and Uncle Skylar flew in late the night before and it was so fun seeing them there at the Stake Center the next morning.  After the service we all went to Texas Roadhouse for lunch.  Lots of friends and family showed up for the baptism and a good time was had by all!

-That evening was Lauren's performance in "Sleeping Beauty" and she was a bluebird.  She did a fantastic job, but hooray for a break from ballet rehearsals!

-Superbowl Sunday had been very anticipated in our house.  It was fun having family in town for the game.  We had a few other families over as well and there was LOTS of yummy food.  Unfortunately, it was one of the worst football games in the history of football.  No use reliving the score.  Better luck next year, Denver!  It was also Gov's birthday and we had  a full house here to sing to him.  We apple several pies for birthday dessert. 

-The week of February 3rd was crazy stressful in our house.  Soooooo much to do to get ready to leave the country.  I had a lot of exams to take and assignments to complete before leaving.  Girl Scout cookie orders had to be finalized and entered before we left.  Headaches galore. 

-Saturday February 8th we drove down to Sandy for McKay's birthday party at Classic.  We stayed for about an hour and then raced to the airport.  It was the busiest we had ever seen the SLC airport.  We got to Houston late that night and hit the sack about 1:00 a.m.

-On Sunday we left on a seven day western Caribbean cruise with the entire McCorkle family.  Two grandparents, six living siblings and spouses, nine grand kids, and Granana's best friend (Aunt Lynn).  One of the most incredible weeks of our lives.  Honduras, Belize, Mexico.  Awesome, awesome, awesome.  I love my family so much!

-Met Carli and her girls in Houston at my favorite Mexican restaurant, Guadalajara, on our way to the airport.  So fun getting to visit and let our girls get to know each other again.  Liam was very missed.  

-After a hellacious flying experience back home (remind us never to fly with Frontier Airlines again) we got back to our house at almost 2:00 a.m. on Monday the 17th.  Luckily, that was Presidents Day and no one had school or work to get up for.  The day was spent unpacking, unpacking, and unpacking.  Such a bummer to come back to winter after being in 85 degree climate for a week.

-I found out I made a 93% on one of the hardest tests I had ever taken (took it on February 6th right before we left for Houston).  The class average was 76%.  Go me!

And that brings us to today.  Here's to staying caught up a little better!