365 Days Ago...

At 2:15 this afternoon my baby officially turns one and becomes a toddler. Although he has been "toddling" around for six weeks now, I think that real toddlerhood begins at twleve months. This year has FLOWN by, faster than any of the other babies' first years. Yesterday all I could think about was exactly what I was doing one year ago.

Saturday October 10th was Cody's 36th birthday. Devin's delivery was scheduled for Tuesday the 12th. I wasn't crazy about their birthdays falling so closely together, but we had no choice. Cody's parents came into town on Friday to stay through the week while I was in the hospital, and his mom was going to stay even longer after his dad went back to Idaho. I woke up Saturday morning feeling horrible. I was 39 weeks and ready to pop. I took a hot shower and the water made my achy back feel a little better, but not much. Cody's mom kept telling me to go rest while she did birthday stuff for Cody's dinner. She spent the day making his cake, homemade chili, and scones (all per request of the birthday boy). I felt so bad that I could not help her much, but I REALLY felt awful. So I sat on the bad and painted my toenails and watched Batman Begins. Yeah, I really hate that movie. Michael Keaton is the only real Batman.

My back continued to feel really bad and I started getting nauseous. Cody's mom kept telling me that she thought I had started labor. I didn't listent to her because I wasn't really contracting. Lance and Courtnee and kids came over for dinner and cake that night, and I spent most of the evening on the couch trying to ignore the back pain. After everyone left, Cody and I were alone in the bedroom and I started crying. I was feeling terrible but didn't want to have the baby on his birthday. It was about 9:00 so I figured I could wait until morning to call the doctor because I still was not having contractions.

I barely slept that night. At 4:00 in the morning I woke up to a pretty painful and long contraction. I got up to use the bathroom and they kept coming, but they were very irregular. I realized I had hardly eaten anything for dinner the night before and I was starving! So I did something completely against the rules and I ate a bowl of cereal and had a glass of juice. I knew that if I went to the hospital that morning, they would be unhappy if they knew I had eaten anything and they may pump my stomach or something. NO FOOD before surgery! But I was so hungry that I didn't care.

I laid down on the couch and timed more contractions. They didn't really hurt, but they were very tight and kept coming. My back is what really hurt! At about 7:30 I woke Cody up and told him what was happening. I then called my OB and he told me he had a mission farwell to go to that morning but to take a hot shower to see if I could slow or even stop the contractions. I sat on the bed and had a VERY hard one, the kind that about knocks you over, but I showered anyway and felt a little better.

Cody's parents were awake at this point and his mom said "Looks like we are going to have a new baby today!" Even though this was the fourth time I'd gone through it, I still started shaking with nerves. I was getting more scared by the minute. People had said to me "I'll bet you are a pro and don't get nervous anymore because you've been through this a few times before." On the contrary! It's because I HAD been through it three times before that I was so nervous! I knew exactly what was coming.

Cody and I gathered our things and said our goodbyes to everyone. I was about to cry. He then gave me a blessing and that calmed me down a lot, so we then headed out the door at 9:00.

I was astounded to see how empty and quiet the hospital was. I then remembered it was Sunday, and that they never scheduled things on Sundays if they could avoid it. We had the place to ourselves! Once we were in L&D I got dressed and hooked up to the monitors. One for my contractions, and one for the baby. The midwife came in to talk to me and said that they were always short staffed on Sundays (being in Utah and everyone wanting Sundays off) so they didn't like to do deliveries electively. Pretty much, I would have to be in real labor for them to admit me. Dr. Draper was still out with his family, but the midwife stayed in close contact with him all morning.

I don't know when this happened, but somewhere along the line I fell sound asleep. I NEVER fall asleep with out trying, so this was very strange. I must have been absolutely exhausted! Cody said I was snoring too. About four hours later the midwife came back in and said "Okay mom, Draper says to get you prepped. He'll be here in about an hour. You have been having really strong contractions for three hours now, and since you have three prior c-sections he doesn't want to let you labor any longer."

I was astonished that I'd been having strong contractions for so long and slept right through it. How could that have happened?

And then it happened like it always does. I got changed again, spent a while in the pre-op room, had to drink some horrible tasting neutralizing cocktail because I'd had food early that morning, talked to a LOT of people about risks and what to expect and all that, signed my life away (quite literally), was wheeled into the OR, almost fainted several times as the spinal was administered, got all hooked up to machines, got shaved and catheterized, the blue drape went up, and they started cutting. I explained before that this was the most amazing birth experience for me. Only crazy people elect and enjoy c-sections, but I am not one of them. As horrible as they are, I could not have asked for a more smooth experience.

Devin was born at 2:15 p.m. and was 7 pounds, 7 punces, and 20 inches long. He peed all over things twice before they even cut the cord! He stayed with me in the OR as I got stitched up and I had my arms free to adore him. Our time together in recovery was unforgettable. Never before had I been offered skin to skin bonding time but the nursing staff this go around did everything right. Devin and I had our first nursing session on my bare chest and he peed on me again at least three more times. And I could not have cared less! I was madly in love with this newest man in my life.

And then I blinked. A whole year has passed and I am left wondering where it went? I look at him today and I still can't believe the love that so freely pours from my heart to him. Even though he is my fourth, you would never know it. When you have more children, your love isn't divided. It multiplies and it's as if you grow a new heart each time. My sweet Devin boy, I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you in words. Maybe one day when you have a child of your own you will understand what I feel for you. I am so grateful to be your mama!! XOXOXOXO