"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life;
to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau

Friday, July 4, 2014

Another Week With Paul- Part II

 I knew that Tuesday would be hard.  I don't know what it is about an anniversary, but they can evoke very strong emotions- conjure up all kinds of memories and feelings.  They can be good or bad, and this particular anniversary is always bad.  Joseph was killed at approximately 2:00 a.m. on July 1, 2009.  I dread that day every year, and this year was harder than any of them yet.  He's been gone for half a decade and it's a big milestone.  I stayed up very late on Monday reading old journal entries, looking at pictures and doing all kinds of "unhealthy" things to feed my emotions, like watching old videos of him.  And I did a lot of crying and fell asleep crying.  I didn't want to get out of bed on Tuesday and face the day.  But I finally got everyone up and ready and said "Let's go to brunch.  I'm not cooking."

Getting out of the house was just what the doctor ordered.  We went to Village Inn and we hit the trifecta.  #1- It was kids eat free day. #2- The World Cup was on the big TVs. #3- They had free wifi so Paul could sit there and chat with Chloe while we ate.  Perfect!  And Devin ate his first lemon and Paul caught it on video and it was pretty funny. 

 Then we went over to Smiths Marketplace so I could grab a few things, and we each ended up with new sunglasses.  Paul bought these, but I ended up getting "normal" looking ones instead of these beauties. 
 While in Park City the day before, I told Paul we should pawn the kids off and go get massages and pedicures.  I was half kidding, but it really sounded awesome.  Paul mentioned it again and I said "yeah, I wish!"  When we got home from the store, the kids ran down to Paul's room and attacked him on the bed...and I let them.  I closed the door and let him entertain them while I got some housework.  I think he secretly loved it!  While he was down there with the kids I called my favorite day spa and made him an appointment for an hour long massage.  Yeah, I love him that much!!  When I told him he was pretty dang happy. 
We dropped him off at the spa at 5:15 and I ran some errands while he got worked on.  When I picked him up a little over an hour later, he seemed punch drunk.  Yup, that's what an hour long full body massage will do!  Then we hit our favorite burger place, Five Guys, for dinner.  A-mahz-ing. 

 That night we were all camped out on the couch watching the traditional Joseph video, the same one I made for his funeral.  It's always cathartic to watch and the kids love seeing pictures of themselves with him.  While we were watching the video, I heard Cody's car pull up outside.  Cody had driven halfway to Twin Falls right after work to meet his dad who was bringing Ethan back home.  Cody was beat from being up at 5:00 that morning, working a full day, and driving to Idaho and back.  Ethan didn't know Paul was at our house, so Paul came up the stairs and surprised him when he walked in the door.  I was a little disappointed by Ethan's reaction, because when he left a week earlier he had been VERY upset and even cried.  But he is sometimes very hard to read (just like his daddy) and even though he was super happy and surprised to see Paul, he acted like it was no big deal.  Stinker. 

On Wednesday, we wanted to go back to Seven Peaks Waterpark and stay for longer than we had been able to on his first visit.  I even made arrangement for Garrett to go to the hourly daycare near us, so we didn't have to take him and worry about him the whole time.  We left the house a little after lunch and dropped Garrett off (as he threw a massive tantrum of disappointment when he knew we were swimming and he wasn't) and we made our way to the waterpark.  When I pulled in to park, the attendant informed me that almost 90% of the rides were closed for maintenance.  WHAT??!!  I pulled over and we brainstormed what to do.  We decided to drive down to Provo to the other Seven Peaks that we had never been to.  I HATE Provo and avoid that part of Utah at all costs.  But I sucked it up and drove the 45 minutes down there. 

We ended up having a good time, although the park was crazy crowded.  Upon learning that so much of the park was closed, it seemed that everyone in Salt Lake had the same idea as us.  Everything was going fine until Hailey got stung by a bee in the lazy river and it ruined things for her.  She ended up sticking around our camp while the rest of us went on some rides together.  We left the park a little after 5:00 to make it home in time to pick Garrett up. 

 When he got home, Cody was there and said that some packages were waiting for me on our bed.  I was soooooooo excited because I knew Paul's family had sent us something in the mail, and I knew what it was.  Paul's mom had gotten all of our kids jerzies to match Paul's Gaelic team back him, Gort na Mona.  She had sent me a picture of the shirts after she got their names put on the backs of them, and I could hardly keep the surprise.  Paul had no idea about it, so it was a big surprise for him!  The FOUR parcels had all kinds of goodies in them and it was the biggest treat going through everything.  I'm pretty sure I had a goofy grin on my face the whole time.  Paul called his family back home to let them know we were opening the parcels, so he was on the phone with them at the kids opened everything.  It was so fun!

Ethan's classic face in most pictures these days.  He is really good at being ten years old!

Paul's dad back home, showing off the shirts when they got them done!
 The last thing we found in the box was something fragile and wrapped in brown paper.  I opened it up and saw this.  I smiled so big as I read it, and then when I saw Paul's name on there, I started crying.  It felt like someone had reached into my chest and squeezed my heart.  His sister made this for us and I cried and cried and even got to talk to her on the phone.  I just LOVE Seana and I hope to God I get to meet her one day!  I hope that about all of his family because at this point, they feel like they ARE family to us.  It's hard to imagine that three weeks ago we didn't know them, and now we are all connected in a way that distance and time can't undo.  I am so thankful for whatever forces in the universe brought us all together, because we love and cherish them.  It was a fantastic night!!

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