Newsies!

Newsies production began in January and was supposed to be wrapped up the second weekend in June.  Well, COVID had other plans.  Honestly, I don't know how this show came together like it did.  Social distance rehearsals?  Zoom workshops and rehearsals in the midst of remote school learning? Man oh man, it was hectic.  I did some costuming again and truly enjoyed it...for the most part.  There were three casts this time, with drastically different body types and sizes for the same character.  That always creates a unique challenge for a seamstress, but it's a welcome challenge because I always learn something new and get better. The kids made some incredible new friends this go, and I never DON'T fall completely in love with the kids and their families. It's difficult to work closely with people and not grow to love them.  

The performances took place over nine nights.  I worked concessions with some of my favorite people each night, with the exception of Garrett's death anniversary when we hid at home (the kids were not performing that night, so it worked out great). I sure love my fellow theatre families, and I got to know some new ones while working this show.  Did I already say how much I love our theatre family? No? Okay, I really love our theatre family and cannot imagine life without them! Because there's an enormous amount of downtime during performances for a lot of actors, we do a lot of talking. Lots of talking and braiding hair.  Isn't that funny? A couple of the kids were talking about music and that they want to learn to play guitar, and I said that I play.  On the second night, I brought one of my guitars to let them dink around on. Well, somehow it turned into a kumbaya session each night, with a full blown sing-a-long during each intermission.  It was an absolute blast, and the musical/vocal talent of these kids blows me away! 

Because this show was dragged out for so long, it was more of a relief when it ended.  There were still lots of tears. but I don't think any of the parents are missing the 1:00 a.m. end of the day that we experienced for two weeks straight. It made for some exhausting days and nights, but it was so worth it. Words can't express my appreciation for their theatre and those who devote their lives to the teaching and betterment of these kids. There's nothing but love from their directors and producers, and they're changing lives, one kid at a time. 

Our amazing Livvy, who dedicates all she has to these kids!  She celebrated her birthday during one of the fourteen hour days during tech week, so we surprised her with a cake! 

Lauren as Morris Delancey. 

Ethan as Mr. Wiesel.

I made these framed posters for each of the directors and producers, which the entire cast signed.  

Six Years

I don't know how many times my heart has beaten since that day.  I don't know how many breaths I've taken.  I think back to those first few days.  Surreality doesn't even come close to describing what it was like when you left. As I write this, I'm sitting on the very bed that I last shared with you before you drowned.  I flicked your ear that night out of frustration that you wouldn't sleep.  You covered your little ear as tears welled in your eyes and you simply said, "I sorry," as you lied down and fell asleep against me.  I was exhausted from driving for two days straight.  It's been six years, and I hope you've forgiven me.  I hope you know that I loved you in past tense and I love you even more in present tense, because my love for you only grows deeper and wider as if you're still here.  I ran six miles for you on the 12th.  Each year, I run another mile for you.  One day you'll be gone fifty years, and I'll do fifty miles for you then.  Even if I'm hobbling on my arthritic knees and carrying my O2 tank with me, I will do a mile for each year that we've not been together.  

This year as I ran, I did a lot of reflecting on this time six years ago.  I remember a million people telling me a million stupid things but what I really needed, was someone to tell me a reason not to die.  Maybe somewhere along the way, someone said the very thing I needed to hear to keep going.  Or maybe it's that somewhere along the line, I found my strength.  Most days, I'm not strong.  Most days I carry myself through life a mere inch away from complete annihilation. But sometimes I'm strong, and I guess that's why I run.  I run for you.  I run to remind myself that the pain in my side and in my lungs are reminders that I'm still here, and that you're lifting me up.  I miss you, baby.  I miss everything about you and I fear that those little things I miss, are the very things that are disappearing from my memory.  But the love- that remains as clear as it ever was, as does the pain of not being with you.

I can only run on the treadmill anymore because I'm on strict orders from my immunologist to monitor my every step and continually monitor my heartrate along the way.  Besides that, it's hotter than hell outside.  Unfortunately, the treadmill odometer stops at a certain time, so I had to do this run in two segments.  That's why there's two pictures of two odometers.  But I promise, it was six miles.  Six miles for you.  That evening, our house was somber.  I hope you realize how much you're missed every minute of the day.  Maybe you worry that your three years are starting to become less significant, but I assure you, those three years changed us forever.  We all miss you more than tongue can tell.  Dad grilled burgers that night.  We made ice cream.  We tried to smile, but honestly, it was too hard.  Not that day.  Not the day after.  We miss you too much.

Keep helping us, Garrett.  I'm certain your help from the other side has contributed substantially to the fact that we're still breathing.  Still fighting.  Still winning.  Six years. It seems impossible that it's been that long.  I love you. 

Uncle Matthew's Visit

Few things thrill me more than one of my family members coming in to visit! Matthew called me at the beginning of June to see what our plans were for the Fourth of July.  As luck (and I mean UN-luck) would have it, the COVID situation drastically changed our traditional Fourth plans, and we were home bound. Kacey and Atlas were up in Massachusetts visiting her family, and Matthew and Orion were needing a road trip and to escape the horrid heat of Austin.  It gets so bloody hot where we live, that I forget it's even hotter in other places.  I spent several days prior frantically getting some costuming done for Newsies because I knew I'd get none of it done when they arrived, and I was right!  They pulled in about 1:00 in the afternoon on Tuesday the 30th.  Luckily, neither Ethan or Lauren has rehearsals that day, so it was all about playing.  Matt and I sat around visiting for several hours while cousins played.  Cody came home that evening and we had spicy honey chicken and rice for dinner.  Then in normal fashion, Matt and I stayed up talking some more until 2:00 in the morning.  Oops! That made for a very sleepy next day. 

Wednesday marked the start of Hell Month.  July.  July 1st was the eleventh anniversary of one of the worst days of my life- the day my younger brother was killed in a car accident.  I'll never forget the exact feelings of the moment I got the news, or the rest of the day and then the days and weeks and months that followed.  I always hate July 1st, but I was grateful to commemorate it with someone who perfectly understood.  I got up that morning and made Garrett pancakes for breakfast, then we kind of lazied around and talked a lot more. (Are you seeing a pattern?  We talk...a lot.) That afternoon, we decided to go hiking, but Ethan and Lauren had rehearsals, so it was just Hailey, Devin, Orion, and Matt.  We decided to take his truck because the trailhead was up a really difficult dirt road, and his truck is made for that kind of thing.  The hike was HOT.  We picked the wrong time of day to go, because the sun was in full force on that side of the mountain.  Devin started getting heat exhaustion, so much earlier than I would have liked, we decided to turn around.  Still not wanting our evening of adventuring to end, we picked up pizza and ate at Mueller Park where we then went wading through the creek.  That night, I drove to do carpool at the end of rehearsals and did't get home until 10:30, but we still managed to eat Snickers cake in honor of Joseph.

It worked out GREAT that the rehearsal schedule changed, and Thursday the 2nd was completely clear! Ethan needed to stay home and work on summer school, but the rest of us loaded up and drove to Pineview for the day.  It was absolutely perfect.  The weather was great, it wasn't terribly crowded (thank you, COVID) and everyone had a wonderful time.  I was on a medication that caused the sun to really hurt my skin, and Matt is extremely sun-conscious in his old age, so we spent most of the day sitting in the shade...you guessed it...talking. The kids had a blast making sandcastles and swimming out on the rafts and of course, eating.  Isn't food almost the best part of a lake excursion? I decided not to take the kayak because I still haven't gotten the hang of the new rack Cody got me for my birthday. 

We decided we are going to reenact this picture in ten years! Ha ha!

Friday was kind of a lazy morning.  We tie-dyed patriotic tee shirts, which is something we'd never done before.  Even being novices, I'm surprised at how well they turned out!  More visiting during the day, and then I took Hailey to the optometrist to pick up her new glasses.  After that, I didn't feel like cooking dinner so we ordered Costa Vida take-out and went to eat at our favorite park, Memory Grove.  Angus was in puppy Heaven because it's an off-leash dog park, and he had all the fun sniffing all the genitals.  

That night, it was a hard-core game of Candyland!

Saturday was the Fourth, and it was odd to be spending it without parades or firework shows.  It's always been my favorite holiday, second to Halloween and Thanksgiving. I was in a funk in the weeks leading up to the Fourth, but having Matt and Orion here certainly buffered the disappointment. We set up the slip 'n slide and inflated about 500 water balloons, and the kids made good with them most of the day.  At day's end, the backyard resembled a swamp!  I spent the morning preparing all our favorite Fourth foods. All week we'd been collecting fireworks from stores and stands, but that afternoon our good friend Taco Haws came over and invited us down to his house to see some REAL fireworks. Apparently, he's friends with a guy who owns one of the biggest firework chains in the area, and he told Taco to bring his truck and load up what he wanted.  Taco got the BIG fireworks! Before heading down the street, we grilled burgers and hot dogs and corn-on-the-cob and had entirely too much food, but that's not a bad thing.  We donned our new tie-dyed shirts and had fun taking ridiculous pictures.  Matt and I sat on the back porch and had a karaoke jam session while I played guitar.  I honestly didn't know my big bro could sing like that.  We eventually walked down to the Haws' house with other neighbors and boy, Taco wasn't kidding.  We had a great time sitting back and visiting while the guys launched the big fireworks.  Not wanting the party to end, some friends came back to our house for game playing LATE into the night.  I think we played at least ten rounds of Relative Insanity...but only with the bad cards!  Ha ha.  That's the only way to play.  Matt and I broke our record that night of staying up until 4:30 in the morning talking.  Yikes!  We was tired the next morning. 

They were originally supposed to head out on Sunday, but something in their plans changed that made it better to leave on Monday.  I wasn't at all sad to have them an extra day, although I really needed to get back to sewing.  My deadlines for Newsies were fast approaching and I spent most of the day on Sunday in the basement working on costuming.  Matt came down there and we watched "The Witcher" while I worked.  It was actually my third time watching it, because it's one of those shows that's so convoluted that it takes several viewings to put all the pieces together.  While watching, Matt fell in love with Yennifer and became hooked.  Ha ha, I can't blame him.  She's hot.  That evening, I needed a change of scenery so some of us went to Baskin and Robbins to get ice cream. We stayed up late again playing more games and talking, and doing gender swaps on a phone app. Matt looked too believable as a woman, and I looked like our brother, Philip. The next morning, the time came to say our goodbyes.  After taking several goofy pictures on the porch, they loaded up and drove away.  I had a lump in my throat as I watched them go, feeling both sadness at saying goodbye, and gratitude for the close bond I have with my family.  Many new memories were made this week, and I'm grateful!