"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life;
to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Sour Smelling Tunnel

I have about ten more days until the 2nd trimester starts. I know there is nothing magical about week fourteen, but to me it symbolizes the end of some very trying weeks. I am still sicker than sick. I don't throw up all that much, but there are many times a day when I wish I could. Instead I walk around all day gagging and dry heaving. Once my gag reflex starts in the morning there is no shutting it off until I'm asleep that night. And I'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't just get tummy troubles. My entire GI system is in upheaval and I have it from both ends all day long, with that constant "gurgling" in my stomach and my intestines are very swollen. I'm barely eating anything because nothing sounds good, yet I've already gained five pounds. It seems to defy the laws of physics, but it's again proving to be my pattern. I'm likely looking at another seventy pound weight gain. I shouldn't be surprised, but it's still a little depressing. I can't even say out loud the number I'll weigh when this baby is born. YIKES!

Today I'm sick and kids are sick. I the warm weather EVER going to get here? Who in their right mind moves to a place that is winter six months out of the year? A snow fall after March 1st should be outlawed. God needs to be in the hot seat. I say this every year, but this has been an incredibly long winter for us. Here it is April 3rd and it's snowing outside. I know things look especially bleak for me right now because I feel so terrible and my house is a disaster. Things in general in our household are out of control. I know that in a few weeks I'll feel really good and the weather will be warm and we'll be among the living again. But right now, it's hard to see the light at the end of this sour smelling tunnel.

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