"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life;
to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Dear Garrett

Dear Garrett, I blinked. I blinked and suddenly it's not April 2, 2011 when I was lying on the couch feeling yucky and watching TV while Dad was gone and your older siblings were at the neighbor's house eating ice cream for dinner. I blinked an suddenly, YOU, my last baby is already having his first birthday. Where did the last year go?

I'll admit that the first few months of your life were a huge challenge. One day I'll tell you all about it. One day you will call me in complete exhaustion, maybe in the middle of the night, as you desperately walk the floors with your own crying baby, pleading with me to tell you that magic fix to make him stop crying. I hope you don't ever have to go through the trial of having a new baby who cries ALL THE TIME. But if you do, I'll love you and help you en remind you that it will eventually end and that YOUR baby will one day morph into the incredibly sweet and happy baby that YOU morphed into.

Looking back, I know that time was very difficult for Dad and me, but I already miss that sweet time when you just wanted to be held by your mama and how you would root around in my neck because you loved how I smelled. Oh, that makes me heart ache thinking that I will never have that time again. Garrett, I love you in a way that you will only understand when you become a father and have babies of your own.

There were many time when I thought you wouldn't join our family and that we were a complete family when Devin was born. But something always nagged and told me that it didn't feel right. Someone else was waiting to join us. Someone fabulous, someone amazing. And that someone was you! I will forever be grateful that Heavenly Father trusted your Dad and me enough to parent one of his most beautiful and happy spirit children. You have blessed and enriched our lives in more ways than I can ever count!

I want you to be happy in life. I want you to venture out and find what true happiness is....that thing that fills your heart with sincere joy and makes your soul swell with the love of God. Find your bliss. Find it, cherish it, and cleave to it. I want you to know that you have a family who loves you more than anything else in this world. Our family is amazing and we are all so fortunate to be in this together. We are a team, and you are our anchor. I like to think that the strongest spirit was saved for last. There is something very special about you and I know you are a huge asset to the team. Know that you can ALWAYS turn to your family for help or guidance or love or support or encouragement or anything that you may in need of.

Garrett, you are my sweet and final child and I am so happy that God gave me one more chance to have this experience. I love you, I love you, I love you! I hope you always know that. Happy birthday, my sweet guy. My friend! _Love forever, Mom

No comments: