"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life;
to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau

Monday, October 3, 2011

Freezing Time

I know that people get sick of me talking about my children growing up. Getting bigger. One day no longer being children. And maybe I am weird, or maybe I have dreamed about having babies and kids my whole life and now I'm realizing that this stage of life is passing me by. No, it is flying by at the speed of light. I am realizing more and more every day that I will only know these little people for a little while. I will only know Devin as a spirited and destructive two year old for a short time. Garrett will be the baby who loves to suck on my chin and snuggle with me all hours of the day for just a few more short months. Ethan will only be the kid who loves robots and Harry Potter and Star Wars and Legos for a few more years...if I'm lucky. And the girls- this evening while I was making dinner they had their door closed and "The Nutcracker" soundtrack was blasting from their room. Laughing, giggling, screaming, mayhem- it was what I was hearing. Their love of Barbies and mermaids and ballet and making believe is what makes up their lives at this moment and I will only know those lives for a short time.

People say the reason we have children is to make future adults. To teach them and groom them and help them be independent and successful in their own lives. Well, I beg to differ. I know their adulthood is looming and it will be here before we know it, so for now, I love them being little. There are extremely difficult days and sleepless nights and throw up and tantrums and mountains of laundry. But there is also LOTS of love and giggles and fun to be had. How I wish I could freeze time. My mom used to tell me that she wished she could put a brick on my head to keep me little. I never understood that feeling until I had children, especially now that our last baby is getting closer and closer to leaving his babyhood behind. Freezing this moment in time sounds great.

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