"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life;
to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Thank You

I wanted to thank all of my wonderful friends and family for the love and support they have shown us during this trying time. I can't count the number of emails and phone calls we have received from people who are hurting with us. I don't know how people can get through this life with out good people to lean on. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You dont know what your kind words have done for us.

I think the worst (physical)part is behind us. Last night, after a day of intense pain and bleeding, our sweet little baby is no more and I have officially miscarried. Now the emotional pain...if that would only let up as quickly.

Last night I was in and out of dreams and found it hard to sleep. I had the most vivid and real dreams about a baby boy. He was so real that I could have touched his skin and smelled his sweet baby head. I could see him all swaddled in his blanket, wearing his tiny hospital hat, and I could count the wrinkles on his squished up face. When I woke up I thought I was in the hospital. I expected to roll over and see him snuggling with me, but then my heart broke all over again when I realized it was a dream.

I can't get over how incredibly attached we became to that little life in such a small period of time. The silver linging of this is that #1- I miscarried earlier than later, and #2-it was a short ordeal. Probably the longest two days of my life, but now it's over and we can move on.

This life will always live in our hearts and we'll never forget the fragile and short time we had together. And I know that we will again have the chance for this baby to join our family. Now is not the time. But I wish it was and I long for the day when I can hold him in my arms and never have to let go.


foxie4 said...

I am so sorry. You have an awesome outlook!! Keep being positive.You know the Lord is with you!!

Heather Jones said...

Wow, I am so sorry for you guys. I actually did not even know you were pregnant. Missy told me what had happened and I had to come read your blog. I don't know why my updater has not shown yours updating. You are such a great writer I enjoyed reading your posts. I agree with Angie you are very positive. I hope you are feeling better.

Ute Family said...

I don't know what exactly you are feeling but being a mother helps me understand on a small level the pain you have endured the past few days and I am so sorry for that.
You are an amazingly strong woman and I am so lucky to call you my friend!

paulandjenthatcher said...

We are so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm so glad you have had support and help. We admire your courage and faith and your willingness to sacrifice in order to bring sweet (but demanding) children into your home. I know the Lord will bless you for that.

This might seem unimportant, but thank you for your openness in these last few blogs. I learned so much from reading them. I think a miscarriage is something that you only fully understand if you experience it yourselves, but I appreciate being able to understand the heartache better.

We love you!

Miles and Bex said...

I am soooo sorry! I really wish I could give you a great big hug right now. I hope that things get better each day. We will keep you in our prayers.

Joey and Nettifer said...

Hang in there! Love you!