"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life;
to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau

Monday, December 20, 2010

Randomness About Veronica

I love being a wife and mom and journaling about the comings and goings of my family. I love writing about each of them; about their likes and dislikes and the individual personalities. But I need to remember to journal about myself too. I need to remember that one day my children will read through my writings to learn more about me when I was "young". I need to remember...myself.

Two and a half years ago I journaled 100 things about me (you can read that blog post here). I don't remember what all I wrote and some of this may be duplicated. It is in no order whatsoever. Some things will be small and insignificamr while others will be more elaborated upon. I just want to write a little about myself tonight.

I am a night person. I guess that's why it's 12:13 in the morning and I'm jounraling, wide awake. I come alive somewhere around 9:00 p.m. I love staying up late while the house is quiet. It's the waking up in the morning part that I don't like.

I love that my kids are getting older and becoming more involved in school and activities and life. But at the same time I wish they could stay little forever. Sweet, innocent, honest, cuddly, and at an age when they love me no matter what I do or do not do.

When I evaluate myself, about 75% of the time I feel like a bad mom. The other 25% I feel like a great mom. There seems to be no inbetween for me.

I crave Baskin Robins mint chocolate chip ice cream every day of the year, even in the dead of January when I am not pregnant or hormonal. (Yeah right, when am I NOT hormonal?)

I am dying to live somewhere else. Cody has a fantastic job that provides us with many blessings, but sometimes I find myself daydreaming about him getting a job transfer that will take us to a new place. I am up for a new adventure in a new state where we don't know anyone and are forced to make new friends. I love my friends dearly, but I also love collecting them. Seems that we are at a standstill in that dept.

I also want to live in a place where the church is not so dominant. It's very easy to take the church for granted when it's comforts are so readily available to me. I need to be pushed and challenged and be given opportunities to share the gospel. I need the courage to share the gospel.

As much as I love the family I was raised with and am sealed to forever, I love that I have branched off in a new phase of life where I am creating memories and traditions for my OWN family. As in, the man I married and the five babies I have grown (and am currently growing) in my belly. I love this family of seven like there is no tomorrow and I love it that I am tied to them forever. I love it that no matter what, we have eachother. We are a team. Lucky seven.

I love it when my [almost] seven year old prays for us to have the spirit in our hearts to protect us. I love it when my [almost] five year old prays for the baby in my belly, as if he is already here. She considers him as much a member of the family as she considers Devin a member of the family. I love that my three year old prays for Mommy and the baby in every single prayer. Oh yes, these sisters are going to smother him with love and affection just like they do the current youngest brother.

I wish I could keep the bathroom clean. It's always sanitary, but the kids have a way of getting water and toothpaste all over everything. I can't count the number of times each day I go through there with a bottle of windex and a rag and wipe everything down. And then an hour later I see that it looks like a tidle wave came out of the sink!

I hate wearing a bra. And I mean I-HATE-WEARING-A-BRA. That mainly stems from the fact that I am very well endowed up top and I have never found a REALLY excellent bra that is not only fitting, but holds everything in even when I bend over a million times a day. I found a great line at VS this summer that I love because they make me look great under a shirt. But the second I bend over to pick something off the floor, I come back up and have to do a major readjustment. I wish that these bras were more "full coverage". They claim to be "full coverage", but I really need something that comes up higher. Oh the trials of being busty! When we are at home and I'm engaged in house work, I always change right into my favorite sports bra that has excellent support, especially when I bend over. But it gives me a horrible uniboob so it's an at home only bra.

Judt realized I wrote a huge paragraph about my bra woes.

If we had an extra $1,000 I would buy a new dining table and chairs. I mean, a really great one that seats eight people comfortably, that is good quality, and will last for years. We are in desperate need of a new set. We are still squeezing around the tiny one that Cody and I bought when we were first married. The chairs are falling apart and the table has seen it's last days. We really need a new one.

I love working with wood and building stuff. I love looking at a project that needs to be done and figuring out ways to go about it in the most frugal way, while still doing quality work. I guess that is why I LOVE refinishing furniture. I love inventorying our house and seeing what new items we need for our growing family, hitting the flea markets and second hand stores, and finding that gem...the one I know will be perfect once I give it the TLC it needs. But I think those little projects always drive Cody crazy!

Some days I miss my brother Joseph so much it hurts. Those days are much further apart than they were in the first several months, but now it's been 18 months and although it has gotten easier, I am still very sad when I think about him. I cry. Sometimes happy tears when I remember things, sometimes purely selfish tears when I miss him.

I am set to deliver my fifth and last baby in three and a half months. I am in some ways ready to be done with this stage of life, but at the same time it has been a huge part of my identity for seven years and it'll be difficult discovering the identity of "Veronica...mother of five" instead of "Veronica...the one who always has a baby in the belly or a baby on the boob".

I miss being the Primary President because I really and truly loved the weekly interaction with the jillions of kids. It was crazy, but I loved it.

I like to see an clean and organized fridge door. I mean, the outter door. I struggle to keep it tidy with a few pictures and drawings from kids. Maybe a reminder document here and there. But often times it is bombarded with JUNK!!! I go through about every two weeks and de-junk the fridge front. I love it when it is free of clutter!

I am grateful to be married to a worthy Priesthood holder.

I love it when my 14 month old is taking a nap!!

I love a clean kitchen. And I'm not just talking about dishes washed and put away. I'm talking everything clean, counters free of anything that does not belong there EXACTLY (like the mixer and toaster, mail bin, phone, hand soap, and my utensil carousel. I love the island to be 100% free of anything unless I am busy doing a project there or making/serving dinner. I love to walk into the kitchen and see....NOTHING!!

Can you tell I hate clutter?

In the winter I always have socks on my feet, even without shoes on. As soon as I get out of the shower I put on my undies and a good pair of warm socks. It is too cold here otherwise!

In my dream home I have double ovens.

I HATE and DESPISE wearing shoes in the house. Even when I go to other people's houses I hate wearing my shoes there. I always ask if they have a no shoe rule (secretly hoping they do) so I can go shoeless. Otherwise, I keep my shoes on. We have a no shoe policy in our home and there is a shoe basket at the top of the stairs on the main floor. Kids come home, and shoes go off. I feel extremely clausterphobic wearing shoes at home, plus no shoes keep carpets a little cleaner.

I love being in my thirties.

I wish I had time for more scrapbooking.

If I had another large chunk of money that had no other place to go, I would do Invisilign and teeth bleaching. I wore braces for four years as a teen, but sadly my teeth have shifted dramatically since they came off in 1997. Having several babies has for sure done it, because the bones soften up quite a bit during pregnancy (this happens to everyone) and my jaw bone is included in that. With five pregnancies now, my teeth are not what they used to be. There is a significant difference from before I was pregnant with Ethan to now. Also, my teeth are yellow. I don't know why because I have never been a coffee drinker or smoker, and I brush three times a day and have regular dental visits. Yet they are yellow! And my gums are horribly sensitive to the gel bleach so that method is out. I need to do the method of having them pry my mouth open and hold my lips back, while they paint on the gell and I sit under the lights. That will work! Oh I am so vain :)

I wish I read my scriptures more. I sometimes think I'd like a calling like Gosepl Docterine teacher because I'd be forced each week to REALLY study the scriptures.

I love chronicling and journaling. Sometimes during the day my kids will do something jounrla worthy or I'll have a thought that needs to be written down, and I'll write it out in my head. I am constantly narrating events in my mind, figuring out exactly how I want them to sound on paper.

My soul craves music like a PMSing woman craves chocolate. I love to play the piano and when I am stressed, that is the first place I go. I sit down at the piano and for a few minutes, drown out the noise of my children and plink away. Cody is good to know that when I spontaneously sit down to play, it means something is bothering me and he keeps kids out of my hair for a while. I taught piano lessons for several months this year and I'd love to pick it back up again, but life isn't really allowing me that right now. It'll have to wait until the youngest baby is quite a bit older.

I sleep with a quiet fan running because I need the white noise. I also sleep with four king sized pillows surrounding my body. I have to have my whole body encompassed like I'm in a cacoon. I think I have womb issues!

I for sure have regrets from my childhood and teenage years. As much as I hated not having control over certain things that took place, the good news is that I have the power within my OWN family and children's lives to make things a little better for them.

I love holding music callings in church. I wish I was given them more often

I am not a very good cook but I am getting better. Cody is patient with me and pretends he likes most of what I make, even if it's just choking down a few bites.

One of my favorite things to do is go through drawers and closets and clean them out. I love making labels for totes and boxes and finding a place for things. I love throwing out junk. I love packing up a van load and taking it to DI.

I don't mind doing laundry, but it would be easier if our washer and dryer were on the same level as the main part of the house. I long to have a house plan that is a traditional two story with the garage, kitchen, laundry room, and main living areas all on the main floor together. I love a garage/kitchen/laundry room that is all connected. Oh, and I'd love a big mud room too.

I love planning and executing family home evenings. I love that we are in the habit of doing them every Monday night. I hope that habit continues to stick as everyone gets older.

I am a yeller and a screamer and I constantly have to keep it in check. I am working on it all the time. I hate that I yell and scream, but it's a beautiful trait that I inherited from my mother, who inherited it from HER mother.

I have quite the collection of 5th-6th grade novels. I have at ton of Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley and I sometimes read them. I love Judy Blume and it's fun to pick up a book and read and get taken back to being twelve again.

I take at least one picture every day.

1 comment:

R.D.L.L said...

I loved reading all about you. You are such a fun person and I love how honest you are all the time, because we all can relate to everything! By the way - I found my dining table that I love at the RC Willey clearance center on something like 106th s. I bought it for $250 and I love it! It has 2 leaves (sp?) and can fit 12 - check it out. I also got my dining chairs there for $25 each.