Nov 26-30

Dad and Philip flew back home on Monday morning. I really hated to see them go. They were leaving so early in the morning, before I would be up, so we said our goodbyes the night before. That was very hard for me. I cried myself to sleep and was so depressed the next morning. Mom and I were sitting in the living room and I said that I kept expecting to see Dad and Philip come through the door. Leighann also drove back down to school that morning so the house seemed pretty empty.

Lauren had her 2 month check-up Monday morning so it was a good distraction from my Daddy leaving. She is right on target for everything. She is in the 50% for height and 40% for weight...so just perfect. She got 4 immunizations so that didn't make her too happy. The rest of the week was spent doing chores around the house...all the stuff that I can't seem to get done. We cleaned and organized our basement and crawl space and I feel so good about life now. When my house is organized I function so much better.


Then the dreaded time for Mom to leave came all to soon. She left on Friday and she and I did a lot of crying on Thursday night and Friday morning. I know I am an adult and I have my own life and family, but somewhere deep down inside of me is that little girl who still wants to cling to her mommy's pants leg and never wants her to go away. I love my mom so much and I ache to be near her...to all of my family. When Cody and I were first married he put his foot down and said "We will NEVER live in Texas!" I was dumb and so in love and I smiled and went along with it. Now that we have kids though I see how important it is that they know MY family...the people who made me who I am today. I wish so badly to be closer to them. Maybe one day. The only thing that keeps me going some days is the thought that I am so fortunate to live in a day when airplanes are so easily accessible. I think of the poor pioneers who left everything, even their families, knowing they would never see them again in this lifetime. And I'm so grateful that no matter what happens, I bound to my family forever. I am so blessed.

After I dropped Mom off at the airport I lost it. I didn't want to go back to our house because I would be even more sad. So I called Leighann and told her I was coming down to see her. I drove down there and we went to lunch. At least I have her close by (well 45 minutes away, but that's nothing!) I am so grateful that she is just a quick drive away. I get to see her so much and it makes me feel less homesick. She is leaving for a mission at the end of next semester and I feel I will be lost with out her!

Leighann is such a dork. This is her signature pose for every picture (this was back in Aug. 2005)