Something dawned on me last night in the midst of a grieving episode. As I prayed for comfort again, a thought entered my mind and I was reminded of events that took place a few months back.
The last time our whole family was together was Thanksgiving 2008. In a large family it's always hard to coordinate schedules so we can be together. Cody and I weren't going to be traveling to Texas that holiday because he was swamped at work and we flat out couldn't afford it. We'd already made plans to be with his family in Idaho for Thanksgiving instead.
Then something terrible happened on November 10th. I lost our sweet baby that I was carrying. Up to that point in my life it was one of the hardest things I'd dealt with. After thinking it over and talking to his boss, Cody decided that me being with my family at that time was far more important than any job. So we made the plans and we were able to go to Texas despite our current circumstances.
Last Thanksgiving is filled with some of the best memories of my life. We spent the day at our cousin's house and we did nothing but laugh, visit, and act silly together. I have some priceless pictures to prove it. The week was filled with activities that I will never forget and the memories created in that short time will always be in the most scared places of my heart.
I had no idea that we wouldn't have another reunion like that for years and years to come. It was the last one in this mortal life. As I sat there in the dark last night and recollected that precious time, I was filled with gratitude to the lord for choreographing such events to make it possible for us to create just a few more memories as a family...before one of our own was temporarily taken. Going through that miscarriage was horrible, but seeing it now from a wider perspective, I am in awe at a loving and smart Father in Heaven who knew what would happen and knew that losing that baby was the only way to get us to Texas at that time. His planning was meticulous and I'm seeing that He really does know every detail from beginning to end. (I should also mention that Joseph was burried on July 10, 2009. That was my exact due date with the baby we lost. Had that baby lived, I would not have been able to travel across the country for the funeral.)
If He was able to calculate those events in such a way, I know with all my heart that He has a plan for our family to do it all again. The sadness and despair I feel will let up with time, and someday I'll look back and see His hand in this tragedy as well. I know the Lord knows our family. And in the garden, He did in fact see this precise moment in time when we would need His compassion and love. What a blessing it is to have the knowledge of the Gospel and an understanding of the Plan of Salvation. Even though it doesn't seem like it now, we will be okay.
As I talked with Philip again last night, we both decided that our family motto needs to be "No empty seats" in reference to that last Thanksgiving together. One day when we are all together again, we want to have another reunion around Heaven's table and every single one of us needs to be there. If a single seat is empty, it won't be Heaven. We can't let that happen...and we won't.
I love you Hazor and I know you are pulling for us right now. We'll see you again.
The last time our whole family was together was Thanksgiving 2008. In a large family it's always hard to coordinate schedules so we can be together. Cody and I weren't going to be traveling to Texas that holiday because he was swamped at work and we flat out couldn't afford it. We'd already made plans to be with his family in Idaho for Thanksgiving instead.
Then something terrible happened on November 10th. I lost our sweet baby that I was carrying. Up to that point in my life it was one of the hardest things I'd dealt with. After thinking it over and talking to his boss, Cody decided that me being with my family at that time was far more important than any job. So we made the plans and we were able to go to Texas despite our current circumstances.
Last Thanksgiving is filled with some of the best memories of my life. We spent the day at our cousin's house and we did nothing but laugh, visit, and act silly together. I have some priceless pictures to prove it. The week was filled with activities that I will never forget and the memories created in that short time will always be in the most scared places of my heart.
I had no idea that we wouldn't have another reunion like that for years and years to come. It was the last one in this mortal life. As I sat there in the dark last night and recollected that precious time, I was filled with gratitude to the lord for choreographing such events to make it possible for us to create just a few more memories as a family...before one of our own was temporarily taken. Going through that miscarriage was horrible, but seeing it now from a wider perspective, I am in awe at a loving and smart Father in Heaven who knew what would happen and knew that losing that baby was the only way to get us to Texas at that time. His planning was meticulous and I'm seeing that He really does know every detail from beginning to end. (I should also mention that Joseph was burried on July 10, 2009. That was my exact due date with the baby we lost. Had that baby lived, I would not have been able to travel across the country for the funeral.)
If He was able to calculate those events in such a way, I know with all my heart that He has a plan for our family to do it all again. The sadness and despair I feel will let up with time, and someday I'll look back and see His hand in this tragedy as well. I know the Lord knows our family. And in the garden, He did in fact see this precise moment in time when we would need His compassion and love. What a blessing it is to have the knowledge of the Gospel and an understanding of the Plan of Salvation. Even though it doesn't seem like it now, we will be okay.
As I talked with Philip again last night, we both decided that our family motto needs to be "No empty seats" in reference to that last Thanksgiving together. One day when we are all together again, we want to have another reunion around Heaven's table and every single one of us needs to be there. If a single seat is empty, it won't be Heaven. We can't let that happen...and we won't.
I love you Hazor and I know you are pulling for us right now. We'll see you again.
2 comments:
There is a blessing with every trial. Sometimes we assume the blessings come after the trial, but I have often seen in my own life how the trial itself can be a blessing in disguise.
I just read your blog and I am soo sorry for you and your family. I think that is one thing I never want to imagine or go through.If you need anything please let me know. I will be praying for you guys.
Post a Comment