Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Tender Mercies

I broke my internet fast on Monday night because I needed to get on to work on church business. I am still fasting from other forms of media, such as radio and TV. And to be honest, I don't miss them in the least. I have watched a lot of Conference talks since I began this journey last Friday. One talk inparticular struck a chord with me. Elder Bruce D. Porter said:

"When we sin and desire forgiveness, a broken heart and a contrite spirit mean to experience 'godly sorrow [that] worketh repentance' (2 Corinthians 7:10). This comes when our desire to be cleansed from sin is so consuming that our hearts ache with sorrow and we yearn to feel at peace with our Father in Heaven. Those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit are willing to do anything and everything that God asks of them, without resistance or resentment. We cease doing things our way and learn to do them God’s way instead. In such a condition of submissiveness, the Atonement can take effect and true repentance can occur. The penitent will then experience the sanctifying power of the Holy Ghost, which will fill them with peace of conscience and the joy of reconciliation with God. In a wondrous union of divine attributes, the same God who teaches us to walk with a broken heart invites us to rejoice and to be of good cheer....When we yield our hearts to the Lord, the attractions of the world simply lose their luster. "

Wow. That last line got to me the most. I wish I had time at the moment to journal everything that I've been taught this week. The spirit truly is an amazing teacher.

We have all been sick this week, and any parent understands how draining that is. Ethan was up much of the night on Monday crying because he was running fever and his throat was so sore. It broke my heart to see him in so much pain. Cody gave Ethan the most sweet and pure blessing. After everything had calmed down again I hit my knees and pleaded with the Lord to honor that blessing. And He did. Oh how He did.

That same night I started getting a sore throat and by this morning I had the full blown flu. Fever, chills, intense body ache, coughing, congestion, and a terribly sore throat to boot. Cody ended up coming home from work this morning because I was so sick I couldn't function. That NEVER happens. Around 4:00 there was a knock on the door and the missionaries happened to stop by. Now living in Utah, this is a very rare treat. The missionaries who minister to our ward also minister to 35 other wards in our area, so for them to stop by is rare. They needed to talk to me about a little girl in our neighborhood that they have been teaching. We talked for a while and before they left, they asked if they could do anything for us. I told them that I could really use a blessing. How wonderful it was to have those three priesthood holders surround me and bless me like that.

That was only a few hours ago. As I sit and type this, I feel at least 75% better than I did this afternoon. I was so very sick earlier today. My fever was so high that I was delirious.

I know it was not a coincidence that we have been sick this week. Had we all been healthy, there would have been no need to witness the priesthood in action like we did. The Lord has not forgotten me. He knows I am here and He so desperately wants me to feel His love. On Friday night when I prayed, I can't describe the feeling that overtook me as I said the simple word "Father..." The feeling was so strong and warm that I had to gain composure before I went on. The Lord knows what is in my heart and it's as if He was just WAITING for me to open up to Him.

"Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side, then to realize how well we know our Father, and how familiar His face is to us." -President Ezra Taft Benson.

What an amazing week this has been.

1 comment:

Jeanne said...

Veronica, I LOVE that comment by President Benson. It has been one of my absolute favorites forever.

THANK YOU for sharing who you are and your struggles. Hearing how you choose to overcome them rather than wallow in them has been an inspiration to me.

You don't know me. I "knew" you when you posted on LDSBBC. I would watch for your posts because I liked you and loved to read your thoughts. I am so thankful for you sharing your story.

"God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs." - President Kimball

Veronica, you have helped me and met some of my needs by sharing what you have learned this week (and in other phases of your life that you've allowed me to take a peek into). (and I'm not a stalker, despite what the previous sentence sounds like... ;))Thank you for being willing to seek the Spirit.

I can't say it enough. Thank you.

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