Craft Night

Our ward has FINALLY started a craft focus group (thanks to me and Lynette). We made these Valentine's blocks tonight and I love how they turned out! We will be doing a different craft each month and I'm so excited! I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's itself, but I'm a huge fan of the decor. I'm such a girly girl and I'm all about pink and pretty, so it's a perfect fit.

Good Ridance January

Every year I breath a huge sigh of relief on February 1st. This year will be no different. I have said many times before that I loathe winter and almost everything having to do with it. The only great thing about it is that 2 of my babies were born in winter. As of now there are only 25 hours left in the month of January. I think I can make it. 1 month, 2 weeks, and 5 days until the first day of spring. We live in such a ugly place this time of year. There is a horrendous inversion in the valley and it casts a gray cover on every bit of snow, and a thick gray mist lingers in the air all around. This is a depressing time of year. My next door neighbor and I (Jen) are so desperate for spring that we went out and snow shoveled out back lawns today. That is how eager we are to see grass. We got down to the bottom layer of snow and hit a layer of ice. But at least little bits of green can be seen through the ice! It's fun because we don't have a fence between our yards so it's like we have one big back yard and we are going to shovel enough room so the kids can play soccer. Poor Ethan was out there playing while I was shoveling and he was getting so cold in the snow and it was miserable. Okay, we can tough it out for another few weeks. I'm praying that the groundhog doesn't see his shadow on Feb 2nd. I don't know what I will do then!

We'll Miss You, Gordy B

Tonight I was in reading to the kids when Cody came into the room and said "President Hinkley just passed away". I thought he was kidding at first, but even he isn't that deranged to joke about something like that. Yup, sure enough it was spreading through out the local media like wildfire. 97 years old and what a life he lead. Everyone was talking about how sad and tragic it is that he passed. To me it's not sad. He had an awesome mission to fulfill, he did his job, and now he gets his reward! I can only imagine how he has missed his wife these last few years and I'm sure their reunion today was an incredible one. I'm sure they barely recognized each other in their perfect state. I'll bet he said something like "Wow! These knees haven't felt this good in 60 years!" And she said (speaking of her body) "Looky! It's like gravity...in reverse!" Seriously though, he was an amazing man and the next prophet is going to have huge shoes to fill. President Hinkley did some terrific work for the church and for the world. He always made me want to be a better person in all areas of my life. There are so many things I cherished about this man and the list could go on for miles. He will surely be missed. We love you, Gordy B!

Taking Control of My Life

I am so tired of the chaos. I'm tired of not having a single corner of this house that is "mine". I'm tired of not knowing where something is because little hands have gotten to it. I'm tired of forgetting about very important things. This morning started off in a very bad way. After being up all night with Lauren (she is sick) I was already in a bad mood and I had an email waiting for me from Ethan's preschool teacher.

She sent out 2008 registration forms a few weeks ago and for one reason or another I put off registering him. You know how it is..."I will get to it tomorrow" is my catch phrase lately. Tomorrow came and went, but it has been on my mind this whole time that I needed to register him. So I emailed the teacher yesterday asking if I could get him into the same class spot that he is in now. Not only is that class full, but so are her other 2 classes. It is not even February!!!!!!! She said she will put him on the waiting list but it sounds like that is all she "can" do.

I am so furious with myself and I did a lot of crying this morning. It's not just the preschool thing...it's a metaphor for many other things in my life right now. I called my mommy this morning to cry and I got some great advice from her about organizing my life. I thought I could handle things in the same manner with 3 kids as I did with 2, but it's just not working. She said it was after her 3rd that she had to do some serious changing too. You just can't do things that same way after a few kids are added to the picture. So I am using this set back as a vehicle to take back the control in my chaotic life.

One thing I want to get done is finish the basement. I am willing to sell a kidney to pay for it if that's what it takes. We are plain out of room in the 1300 square feet that we have finished. Hailey and Ethan share a room which works fine, but the baby doesn't even have a room right now because what would be her room is used as the "office". That is about to change. Even though the basement isn't finished, it is still usable. When I am angry I use that energy toward cleaning and organizing and throwing things away. This morning I spent my time taking Hailey's crib apart, re-assembling it in the baby's room, bringing the other twin mattress and box springs up from the basement, getting that set up in Ethan/Hailey's room, sorting and organizing (and of course throwing away) of their toys...etc.

In the next week or so I am going to have a phone jack put down in the basement so we can get the computer moved down there. Next I am going to buy a REAL desk to keep down there for all of my stuff. The kitchen is not an office yet it seems to collect everything that should be kept in an office. I am on a roll now. Too bad it took a stupid blunder to kick me in the pants.

Hailey was so excited while I was setting up her big girl bed. She immediately wanted to lie down and take a nap in it, even though it was only 11:00! Of course we still need to get a frame and cute bedding to go with it. But it works for now! This way she can climb out of bed on her own during the night and get into bed with Ethan, rather than having to cry for me to come get her out.

You'll Have Better Days

Today has been a much better day than yesterday was. I've been more patient and kind toward my kids. I guess it helps when you start the day off praying for that extra "something" to get through the day. Hailey loves to help in the kitchen and almost every time I am in there, she pulls a chair up and immediately starts offering her help. I made her an apron to wear because she always tries to put mine on. We have called her "Miss Hailey" since she was born and that's what she will be known as in the kitchen as well. Tonight she helped me make banana muffins.

Tonight while I was reading to the kids before bed I had a lot more energy than usual. Lately my limit is 2 books. They always ask for more and I usual tell them "no" and I'm anxious to turn the light out and make them go to sleep. But tonight we read about five books and sang a jillion songs. I love it when I'm not too tired to enjoy them that time of night. We always pile on Ethan's bed to read, then I tuck Hailey in in her crib and call it a night. But tonight Ethan and Hailey were clinging to each other and they insisted on sleeping together in Ethan's bed. When I checked on them half and hour later this is what I found. I love it that they have each other to love when they need a buddy at night. I hope they will always be close like this.

I got these wooden letters so long ago and I finally decided to paint them and do something with them. Don't you just love little projects that you never get around to doing anything with? I have a million of those.

Lauren 4 Months Old

Lauren had her 4 month check up today. Everything looks great!
Here are her stats:

Weight: 12.88 pounds = 33%
Height: 24.5 inches = 60%
Head: 16 inches = 36%

The only thing that has worried me is that she is such a quiet baby. Aside from the one time she laughed, she hasn't made other noises. Every now and then she coos, but it's rare. Anyway, the doctor said it's nothing to worry about as long as she smiles and is alert and responsive to my facial expressions. She smiles ALL the time! He said if she is still quiet at 7 months then there might be cause for concern. The poor baby got her DTaP, hepatitis B, polio, and that nasty oral rotavirus vaccine. She screamed and the passed out and will likely sleep all day.

This is her when we got home from her appointment.

I have to say that if spring doesn't get here soon I might go nuts. We are so cabin crazy! Why on earth did I choose so many years ago to move to Utah? A place that is notorious for it's cold winters and disgusting snow. I'm not even a fan of Christmas because it is a winter holiday. Maybe if we lived in Australia and it was in the summer I would like Christmas better.

I have been such a bad mom lately...getting short with the kids and raising my voice more than I should. This morning we were running late for Lauren's appointment and the kids weren't cooperating with me as I was getting them ready. And Hailey has REALLY hit the terrible twos and you never know what will set her off. My nerves were shot and as we were leaving I said to Hailey "I just don't like you today!!!" Then as were driving to the doctor I hit a patch of ice and began to skid and almost hit an 18 wheeler. Cars were swerving and horns were honking and I swear everything was in slow motion. Well by some miracle I landed safely in the median and no one was hurt. I was crying and shaking and pulled off the road to gain some composure.

All I could think of is what I'd said to Hailey only minutes before. So of course I turned to the back seat and said between sobs "I love you guys soooo much! I'm sorry I was such a bad mommy this morning!" We got back on the road, and not even 10 minutes later I was already yelling at Ethan. What is wrong with me?

After the check up I had to go to Kmart to pick up a prescription. And I saw something at the store the melted all of the snow from my cold heart. They already have their summer stuff out. Lawn chairs, yard equipment, sand boxes, pool toys, even bathing suits. At seeing that I breathed a sigh of relief and thought "There is a God!"

Daddy's Day Off

Cody had the day off from work (thanks to MLK) and although we had a lot to do around the house, we decided to spend most of the day just having fun. He hasn't gotten to go watch Ethan at gymnastics in several months so he went with us this morning. Ethan had fun showing off for Daddy. It was so nice getting to spend the day together. After gym we hit McDonald's for lunch and we let the kids play. Holy crowded Play Place Batman! I guess since everyone was out of school they all had the same idea as us. I'm sure we'll see a virus or two manifest over the next few days as a result. Then on the way home we stopped at the "feed and seed" store where we get snow salt and other stuff. They sell the WORLD'S BEST root beer there...Hanks Gourmet. I am a root beer snob and nothing else compares. When ever Cody goes there he always buys me several bottles of the stuff. So yummy!

Hailey always tries to break through the gate into the gym area. She wants to play too!

Us girls waiting on Ethan to finish up.

We love you Daddy!

Miss Hailey's 2nd Birthday

On January 19, 2006 the world glowed a little brighter when Hailey Jane made her debut. I can't believe that tiny baby is now a rambunctious, funny, spitfire of a two year old. Yesterday was her birthday and I found myself a little choked up during the day when I thought about how quickly this time is passing us by. Soon she will be going on dates, applying for colleges, and leaving us behind! But for now she is all ours. We love you Hailey. We couldn't imagine our lives with out you in it! Here's a little glimpse of how we celebrated.

In the afternoon Hailey and I watched "Cinderella" and I gave her her first ever manicure and pedicure. She LOVED it! She kept asking for more but I said she only had 10 fingers and 10 toes to paint!

We had some family over for pizza and cake. Hailey had been talking about her "Elmo cake" for so long and she finally got it! Too bad she was terrified once it was lit.

She might seem pretty young, but we got her a bike for her birthday. The other day I was at the store looking at bikes for Ethan's birthday next month, and there was a tiny (12 inch) princess bike and Hailey jumped right up and on it and knew what to do. I was shocked! SO I called Cody and said "I think Hailey is getting a bike too".

The of course she got spoiled with baby dolls, books, clothes, that freaky Elmo doll that rolls around like he's in mid-seizure, and a snazzy princess cell phone. The diva is all set! I just love having girls!

Lauren's Funny Tongue

Lauren has discovered her tongue and now she's always sticking it out. If I stick my tongue out at her she lights up and gets excited and shows me hers. It's so cute! It's so so funny when babies first discover their different body parts. Oh, and she has also learned how to use her hands a little. She has a baby gym that she lays beneath that has toys dangling from it and she's figured out how to grab them. She is getting too big too fast!

On Sunday the girls and I were cuddling on the couch and Cody snapped this picture. I barely have any pictures of the kids and me so I cherish anyone I can get!

Kim's Baby is Very Sick

In December I posted about my friend Kim having her 15th baby (yes that's right, 15 for anyone who missed it). Well unfortunately the little guy is having life threatening health problems. He has been having issues with breathing lately and this week they had to resuscitate him twice because he totally stopped breathing. At one point they thought he had died. In the middle of the night (on Thursday) he was life flighted 150 miles to Primary Children's. Turns out he has a very severe form of acid reflux and eating could very well kill him. They think that is what's causing him to stop breathing. He has a feeding tube directly into his intestines and he is hooked up to all kinds of things. He is still having apnea episodes and his oxygen level is on a constant roller coaster. Kim is an absolute wreck and hasn't slept in days. I guess it doesn't matter if it's your 1st, 6th, or 15th child. The worry is all the same. Their family is need of massive prayers. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have you tiny infant's life hang in the balance. Even though you don't know her, could you say a prayer for the little guy tonight? I think we have all seen prayer work miracles, and this is as good a time as any for a miracle. His name is Nate.

Lauren's Laughter

Ethan laughed for the first time when he was seven weeks old. Hailey laughed at two months. I have been patiently waiting to hear Lauren's first laugh, and now that she is 3 1/2 months old I started to worry since she hadn't done it yet. She is a very alert baby and smiles constantly, but she has not been very verbal at all. Tonight I was lying on the couch and she was on my chest and we were "talking". Then out of no where I did something that I guess she thought was funny and this little grunt escaped from her. Then I did the funny thing again and she gave me a real, undeniable laugh. So of course I did it again and again, each time making her laugh get bigger. I screamed for Cody to get in there and he came in and heard it too. It brought tears to my eyes. I think I could have ten kids and never get tired of each milestone. It is so incredibly special and such a reminder of what miracles babies are.

A friend in Texas sent this to me in an email today and it hit home for me. Few truer words have ever been spoken.

Before I was a Mom

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

My Heavenly Blessings

Nothing particularly special happened today, but it was one of those days where I was able to sit back and look at my kids and appreciate the true blessings they are to me. I've made some mistakes in my life (who hasn't) and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve these precious babies. But for whatever reason, I thank God everyday that He gave us these kids. They drive us crazy a lot of the time, but we wouldn't trade the craziness for anything in the world. Today I snapped a few pictures while they were behaving well. Lauren is at such a fun age to photograph because she isn't yet trying to get into anything and she is just happy to be. Ethan came home from preschool beaming with pride because he wrote the letter "S" on his own. And Hailey has just been a cutie pie. So I figured why not document such a great day? Obviously I have more pictures of the baby because she actually cooperated the best.

Card Swap

This Thursday is Card Swap and the theme is "Love". I came up with this card and I like how pink and girly it is!

Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam...Doesn't He?

Today is the first Sunday of the month and at church everything got rearranged. We are now on the 11:00 schedule, which is my favorite. And my little boy graduated from Nursery to Primary. Cody and I were both a little sad because it is just one more step to independence. We have been talking to him for a while about going to Sunbeams and what that means. He seemed so excited about it until we walked into the Sharing Time room. He flipped out! He started screaming at the top of his lungs that he wanted to go home. Even though I was in primary today subbing as the pianist, he still went ballistic. Cody had to come in and sit with him the whole time and even then he wasn't happy. At the beginning he kept running over to me and hiding under my feet while I was trying to play the piano. I swear the kid was possessed. I hope it gets better as the weeks go by. Today was crazy!!

When Will I Learn?

I was sitting at the desk and I swear the spirit spoke to me. He said "It is too quiet...something is wrong." So I jumped up and ran out to the living room and found this pretty picture. I screamed...and then laughed. This is the 3rd time this month that Hailey has devoured my Maybelline G300 Rum Raisin lipstick. I've have come to know the name so well because I keep having to buy more. Somehow this child has make-up radar and can find my cosmetic bag anywhere. I don't know where I had it stashed today, but looky here. She found it and gave herself a makeover. When I caught her she said "Look Mommy! Hailey pretty!" That's why I just had to laugh. So I cleaned her up and said it was nap time. As I was carrying her to her bed she turned around and said "Bye bye make-up, see you later!" And chances are...she will!

My New Do

I took the plunge and chopped my hair off over the weekend. What is the point of having such long hair if it is always kep up in a bun or ponytail? So I decided to get the "mom" cut. There is a reason why so many moms have short hair. It takes me about 30 seconds total to wash it, then another 2 minutes to blow dry and about 3 minutes to style. So that's a total of 7 minutes TOPS to do it from start to finish. I really love it!

Welcome 2008

I haven't posted in forever because life has been crazy (what else is new?). Christmas pictures will be up in the next few days when I have time to upload all of them into a slide show. Over the last 2 weeks we have dealt with the stomach flu and many other nasty illnesses. I am one of the odd ducks who always looks forward to the end of the holiday season. By about December 20th I am so fed up with Christmas that I want to go around and rip everyone's Christmas decor down from their houses. I know, I'm such a Grinch. Ever since Lauren was born things have been GO GO GO GO GO!!! There was her birth, then floods of friends and family for weeks on end, the Halloween, then my mom came into town for almost 3 weeks (which was great by the way) then Thanksgiving, then Lauren's blessing, then the millions of things associated with Christmas. After 3 months of this it is no wonder that I have looked forward to the new year with much excitement. January 1st is possibly my favorite day of the year. It always fills me with so much hope ad anticipation. I feel like it is a fresh start for me. I always make goals for the new year and this year is no different. These remaining 30 pounds of baby fat are going to be GONE by July 1st, no ifs ands or buts. Money will be saved and put in the bank. All of the Gospel works will be read cover to cover. I am going to make me a priority, taking much needed time every once in a while for myself with out feeling guilty. I could post a million goals that I have but those are the biggies.