Friday, September 11, 2009

Another Year Has Passed- Remembering 9/11

This morning before we ran out the door I glanced at the calendar to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything crucial today, like an appointment or meeting. I saw the date and my heart sank. September 11th.

That day my car was in the shop and Cody was giving me a ride to school (we were dating at the time). He came by my place to pick me up, ran in, and turned the TV on. I had no idea what was going on. He said "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center". I immediately thought it was an accident. Then they said a second plane hit the second tower. A chill went down my spine and we were glued to the media for the rest of the day.

I know that through out that day and a few days that followed, I didn't understand the intensity of what had happened. I think my mind put up a guard so I wouldn't let all of the fear and sadness overtake me. Then on about day 4, I was watching the coverage of the attack and it suddenly hit me. I cried and cried at the thought of what had been done to our sacred country.

Today as I drove kids to school one of the local country radio stations was playing nothing but patriotic songs, many of which had been written specifically to commemorate 9-11. Tears streamed down my cheeks the whole way to school and back. As I looked in the rear view mirror at my precious children sitting there, I was over come with a sense of protection. I wish I could take them and live in a bubble. I wish bad things never happened to the people I love.

As we drove to school Hailey noticed the flags lining the streets. She said "Mommy, why are there so many flags out today?" Through my tears all I could say was "Something very very sad happened a long time ago and the flags help us remember it." I glanced back at her and she had this thoughtful look on her face that suggested she was really trying to understand what I'd said. Crazy how a three year old can feel so deeply.

Now after experiencing such a tremendous loss in our family only two months ago, I have a new understanding and appreciation for the people who lost their lives on that day in history. And even sadder still, I have a knew understanding for their loved ones left behind. With the death of Joseph, I get it. I am truly mourning for those who lost people they loved that day. And I'm sure that eight years later, the pain is still as raw as it was then.

I am eternally grateful for the men and women who give their lives and sacrifice so much on my behalf. They keep my family safe. This great country is not perfect by any means, but I am so grateful to be an American and to have the freedoms I have. Even though people with different views sometimes make me mad, and I want to strangle the occasional protester on the street or people who spit on the American flag, I have to remind myself that they are free to annoy me because of this awesome country we all live in. As undeserving as I am, I am thankful to a Heavenly Father who allowed me to be part of it. I hope we as a nation never forget how blessed we are.

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