"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life;
to put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." ~Henry David Thoreau

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Happy Birthday, Bofie


Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.


I was driving the kids to school the other day and this song came on the radio. I've heard it a million times before, but it suddenly had new meaning for the first time. I could barely drive through the tears.

Today is Joseph's 27th birthday. I think we've all been dreading this day for weeks. I woke up this morning with a sick feeling in my stomach and it's been there all day. The girls and I made him a chocolate cake this morning and it kind of fell apart when I tried to remove it from the pan. That made me sad. I want his cake to be perfect. When it's all frosted I'm going to put little Snickers bars on the top.

I wish I could be at his grave today. I don't want him to be alone. But he's buried right by my Grandma and Grandpa so I know his body is not alone. And his spirit isn't either. Maybe loved ones are taking him out for a burger today. I really don't know how that works on the other side.

I hope he feels loved today. I hope he knows how much he is missed here on earth. I hope he knows what the last 27 years of incredible memories with him as my brother mean to me. I hope he knows that the world isn't the same with out him here. I miss you, Joseph. I miss you so much it hurts and it's sometimes hard to catch my breath. I love you. I can't put anything else into words right now.

2 comments:

Julie said...

I have been thinking of you today, Veronica. I know your brother is too.

Julie

Ev said...

I had a long talk with TJ about this yesterday. I'm still not sure how I feel today. Maybe a little better, I guess. I heard from Tommy Wolfenberger yesterday, too. What a great guy. Did you know he's the golf pro at Hearthstone Country Club?? CRAZY!