Evelyn sent this to me today. I never thought that Lemony Snicket could sum up our feelings in such a way. I believe he hit the nail on the head with this one.
Lemony Snicket has an interesting observation on grief. If you have ever read the book, A Series of Unfortunate Events you know that the 3 main characters lost their parents in a fire at the beginning of the book. In book 9, The Carnivorous Carnival, the children have the following exchange and the narrator follows with some important insight on grief.
"The middle Baudelaire's voice quivered, and his sisters turned to look at him--a feat that was difficult for Violet, who was still sharing his shirt--and saw that he was crying. Violet leaned so that her head was against his while Sunny put her mug down and crawled closer to hug his knees, and the three Baudelaires stood quietly together for a few moments.
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it. When I am able, I go out walking on Griny Beach very early in the morning, which is the best time to find materials important to the Baudelaire case, and the ocean is so peaceful that I feel peaceful, too, as if I am no longer grieving for the woman I love and will never see again. But then, when I am cold and duck into a teashop where the owner is expecting me, I have only to reach for the sugar bowl before my grief returns, and I find my self crying so loudly that other customers ask me if I could possibly lower my sobs.
With the Baudelaire orphans, it was as if their grief were a very heavy object that they each took turns carrying so that they would not all be crying at once, but sometimes the object was too heavy for one of them to move without weeping, so Violet and Sunny stood next to Klaus, reminding him that this was something they could all carry together until at last they found a safe place to lay it down."
Lemony Snicket has an interesting observation on grief. If you have ever read the book, A Series of Unfortunate Events you know that the 3 main characters lost their parents in a fire at the beginning of the book. In book 9, The Carnivorous Carnival, the children have the following exchange and the narrator follows with some important insight on grief.
"The middle Baudelaire's voice quivered, and his sisters turned to look at him--a feat that was difficult for Violet, who was still sharing his shirt--and saw that he was crying. Violet leaned so that her head was against his while Sunny put her mug down and crawled closer to hug his knees, and the three Baudelaires stood quietly together for a few moments.
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it. When I am able, I go out walking on Griny Beach very early in the morning, which is the best time to find materials important to the Baudelaire case, and the ocean is so peaceful that I feel peaceful, too, as if I am no longer grieving for the woman I love and will never see again. But then, when I am cold and duck into a teashop where the owner is expecting me, I have only to reach for the sugar bowl before my grief returns, and I find my self crying so loudly that other customers ask me if I could possibly lower my sobs.
With the Baudelaire orphans, it was as if their grief were a very heavy object that they each took turns carrying so that they would not all be crying at once, but sometimes the object was too heavy for one of them to move without weeping, so Violet and Sunny stood next to Klaus, reminding him that this was something they could all carry together until at last they found a safe place to lay it down."
Maybe one day we too can find a safe place to lay down this grief.
2 comments:
Maybe one day. Until then I don't believe anyone that's never experienced this kind of grief should question whether or not we're still feeling that way. Nor do I believe anyone should try to compare "similar" situations... like when they lost a grandparent they saw twice a year. A simple "how ya doin' today?" or "I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you." or "Yall are in my prayers." would be perfectly sufficient. Don't try to relate if you can't. You know who you are.
These pictures are so beautiful and you look so much like your mom! I actually mistook a picture of your mom for you :) I also want let you know I'm always here if you need a friend and a shoulder to cry on... even if it is 20 years down the road and you're just having a day where you miss your brother.
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