My back is doing a tad better today, but I still have to be lying down most of the day. Tonight I took a percocet and went grocery shopping with Cody and the kids. Nothing like grocery shopping completely high. What a trip.
In all my down time with the kids I've come to realize something. Lauren has been spending a great deal of time curled up right against me as we snuggle on the couch. Almost all of her feedings have been done from a lying down position since I've been hurt. It occurred to me that she has no intention of outgrowing the infant stage any time soon. Lauren behaved like a newborn until she was three months old. People always commented to me how strange it was that she still liked to keep her arms and legs curled up against her body. "She is too old to still be doing that" people would tell me.
I think a lot of it is because I have unintentionally kept her comfortable in those positions. We sleep snuggled together. I wore her all the time. There was rarely a moment that I didn't have her tucked into the crook of my arm. This lasted for several weeks and honestly I think it is the main factor in why I didn't experience even a second of postpartum depression. It's funny because society has made us believe that when a baby is born, that baby needs to immediately learn independence from the mother. You are to take that baby, the same baby that has spent the last nine months in the warmth of her mother, and suddenly expect her to adapt to this cold and strange world.
On the same note, the mother is expected to immediately learn independence from this life that she grew so accustomed to feeling 24 hours a day, knowing that nothing in this world could harm that precious person inside her. Well I don't buy it. It's not just the baby who has a difficult time being suddenly ripped from the mother. Mom has just as hard a time, if not harder because she knows exactly what has taken place and she has the matured intelligence to feel sadness as a result. Sadness and despair (in many cases) is absolutely inevitable for the mother. Rather than teaching mothers to separate themselves from their babies so quickly, society should be embracing the idea of a gradual and natural separation. It's something that should take place ONLY when both mother and baby are completely ready.
Every person who comes into this world is so different from the next. Lauren has her set of very unique qualities and characteristics. Her readiness to be separated from me is taking longer than Ethan and Hailey's did...that is all. Who says that when a baby turns four months old you have to start giving them rice cereal? In many cultures solids aren't even introduced until long after the latter half of the first year. Why are we in such a hurry for our little ones to grow up? Why is it so crucial that a baby turn elsewhere to pacify needs such a comfort and security than from his own mother? Lauren is flat out telling me that she is not ready. She still needs me as much as she did the day she came home from the hospital.
She won't always need me like this and I know one day I will look back on this sweet time and wish so badly that I could once again hold her in the middle of the night, knowing that my scent and my warmth is the only thing she needs. In the mean time I am going to start on new supplements of vitamins and calcium to make sure neither of us are lacking in nutrients. When Lauren is ready to eat she will let me know. But for now I will just hold her and love her and be her everything. I am in no hurry otherwise. In realizing this I feel that a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.
In all my down time with the kids I've come to realize something. Lauren has been spending a great deal of time curled up right against me as we snuggle on the couch. Almost all of her feedings have been done from a lying down position since I've been hurt. It occurred to me that she has no intention of outgrowing the infant stage any time soon. Lauren behaved like a newborn until she was three months old. People always commented to me how strange it was that she still liked to keep her arms and legs curled up against her body. "She is too old to still be doing that" people would tell me.
I think a lot of it is because I have unintentionally kept her comfortable in those positions. We sleep snuggled together. I wore her all the time. There was rarely a moment that I didn't have her tucked into the crook of my arm. This lasted for several weeks and honestly I think it is the main factor in why I didn't experience even a second of postpartum depression. It's funny because society has made us believe that when a baby is born, that baby needs to immediately learn independence from the mother. You are to take that baby, the same baby that has spent the last nine months in the warmth of her mother, and suddenly expect her to adapt to this cold and strange world.
On the same note, the mother is expected to immediately learn independence from this life that she grew so accustomed to feeling 24 hours a day, knowing that nothing in this world could harm that precious person inside her. Well I don't buy it. It's not just the baby who has a difficult time being suddenly ripped from the mother. Mom has just as hard a time, if not harder because she knows exactly what has taken place and she has the matured intelligence to feel sadness as a result. Sadness and despair (in many cases) is absolutely inevitable for the mother. Rather than teaching mothers to separate themselves from their babies so quickly, society should be embracing the idea of a gradual and natural separation. It's something that should take place ONLY when both mother and baby are completely ready.
Every person who comes into this world is so different from the next. Lauren has her set of very unique qualities and characteristics. Her readiness to be separated from me is taking longer than Ethan and Hailey's did...that is all. Who says that when a baby turns four months old you have to start giving them rice cereal? In many cultures solids aren't even introduced until long after the latter half of the first year. Why are we in such a hurry for our little ones to grow up? Why is it so crucial that a baby turn elsewhere to pacify needs such a comfort and security than from his own mother? Lauren is flat out telling me that she is not ready. She still needs me as much as she did the day she came home from the hospital.
She won't always need me like this and I know one day I will look back on this sweet time and wish so badly that I could once again hold her in the middle of the night, knowing that my scent and my warmth is the only thing she needs. In the mean time I am going to start on new supplements of vitamins and calcium to make sure neither of us are lacking in nutrients. When Lauren is ready to eat she will let me know. But for now I will just hold her and love her and be her everything. I am in no hurry otherwise. In realizing this I feel that a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.
6 comments:
I'm so glad that you are feeling better about everything. AMEN to all you said. You write so beautifully that I kind of enter an emotional and dreamy state as I read. You are amazing at articulating your feelings.
you are so sweet! you can also tell that you have a lot of down time :) Glad your back is feeling better!
I agree! Let your babies be little and cuddle with you while they still want to. I love sleeping with Kennedy! Dont let anyone tell you what to do! you are her mother!
I totally agree! I tried to hold on as long as I could to each baby phase. Every baby is on their own time line! I say enjoy her snuggliness for as long as you can!
Good girl, thanks for the reminder. You're my hero.
I hate that some parents try to brag about what their baby did so much earlier then it was supposed to. I agree all babies are different and you should not feel ashamed or that your not a good mom because little Jimmy didn't crawl or walk or eat solids when the world thought he should. Power to the mom that will stand up for her babies and say that’s great but my child is different.
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